issue 24: confrontation

Chris?... Pt. 1

- c.s. (bio)

This is about my brother. And is spoken word.

God has given you life and within you his eyes, yet you cover his face.
thinking our mother's to blame for the world throwin' you under it's train,
stomach full of truth serum and too inebriated to plead the fifth,
how is it you can still bare to be seeing this beneath "it" Chris?

you HIDE the truth and LIE to You, always begging to find "This" proof,
behind all of your problems, wearing "this" mask failin' to realize it's you,
we hear the deception in your voice that's darkened your mind,
I can even see the spark in your eyes starting to die,
your face is emotionless and looks like you're breathing the ocean in,
drowning in thought; choking where no solace is,
now the coldest, grim, smolderin' memories are coaxing in this depression,
impulsively battling these euphoric struggles, throwing fists of your vengeance,
always unfocused and misdirected, wandering aimlessly in hope of affection,
you're lost in the boldest aggression and feeling nothing but the coldest of essence,
you only live once, so tell me why do you limit yourself, why am i givin' you help,
do you really live with your health? Why is this stage of your life a mimic of hell?
I've seen you back when you lived in a cell and when you were grippin' the twelve,
when i held your life in my hands, fate was ringin' a bell and God was in me to tell,
the night you overdosed, thought your life was over bro, almost cried with no control,
habit took over my mind and overthrown, scared of the thought where your soul will go,
Mom was crying, tiffany's frozen, dad's givin' me notions, but i wasn't givin' you roses..
we are confined by the limits we've chosen, and i hope one day you'll live in the open,
so gimme your focus and listen, when the night has come and you think life is done,
'cause you had problems with the girl you tried to love,
Just remember man, you a better man, you'll get a second chance,
and we all know you'll get a new girl better than you ever had,
but if you ever need help from me, just ask and i'll lend a hand,
And I'll guide you thru God's stellar plans in this hellish land ...

"Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away.."

Revisiting Chris Pt. 2

- c.s. (bio)

 

(This is about being victim for a loved one under addiction,
and about my brother. I've attached a photo of me and him at the end)​

I've cried too many times to count always questioning if this will make me a man,//
looking up to you till that one day you stood in place with a stance facing the facts!//
hoping everyday that the time is now and you fight this violence, live or die trying..//
all I seen were red lights, sirens.. heads high, crying, a stretcher then driving..//
Man..Mom is scared, Dad don't know and I'm here just waiting for you,//
this your baby brother sayin' this dude, we're all here waiting patiently too//
everything I'm about to be saying is true as you lay on this hospital bed paying your dues//
I feel goosebumps and hate within you, something that could kill and take away any fool//
you're in a battle with something caught at 22, I'm seeing your face turnin' blue and I tire of it,//
this life is something, it's funny how you start peacefully then almost dying fighting..nothing..//
see, I saw it progress till you were lost in the head caught in this bed, it's awfully retch,//
but this is as soft as it gets, this hits harder than death, I can't be silent no more & copy the rest,//
you failed to realize what the human mind was capable of when you started taking those drugs!//
you said you'd change for your son, and that you'd make a way cos you 'love'//
yet you can't take a minute and say that you're done and do away with it, son,/
you made everything a lie, you kept making them up and our truths weren't waking you up!//
I cant hate, you're my blood, these are just statements of love for you to embrace with a hug//
this is the basis of trust and I take it to heart! this is what momma said she'd place within us!//
now we're men and I'm still reaching to say it's enough! tryna break those chains with the rust!//

see I can take it with some but I can't take it with blood, now it's a fight till it's a break in the cuffs,//
I'm not waitin' to say to your son that all it takes is a drug to take away what we love!//
that his father bruised his veins cos of love, pains and lost lust, went insane and lost us.//
what will it take? you in a grave and us praising above?....waiting for us?//
cant you just take the minute to say you're willing to change?..//
maybe take a look at this face, because now it's your son in my place....//
Not me/

 

http://i.imgur.com/DSZ3aqa.jpg

As If

- s.a. fitzgerald (bio)

As if
Only the way to
Were as such success
Would
I venture
To impress

As of
Now and again
Thought translated to us
Could
Involve
Ours and theirs

To a mind
A window wound
Was it curious
To be found
In depth
Undeterred

As if
Simply the age at
Which we collide
Though
I am
Much to know

Too diatribe

As if
As if
As if

determined

- m.j. (bio)

 

pride and shame are baseless songs
to punish is error, to praise just as wrong
we are who we are through no cause of our own
yet here we are wandering this world all alone
cursing our soul for its naughty behaviour
when the blame is not yours, nor your soul's, nor your saviour'
yet the fix for you faults, only you can obtain
drop the illusion, and then take the reigns
He forgives you.
no matter your flaw.
for He, 'God'; Himself, wrote the words on the wall
so realise with haste that you are not to blame
then dig up your demons and hear what they say
find all your errors and attempt to fix them
with total compassion, aimed at you from within
be at peace with the knowledge that you are the victim
unheard, neglected, abused. just as him
all are the result of this causal realm
none are to blame, yet all at the helm -
to steer the future that could be.
if only you could see.
that you are not to the cause, and neither is she.
so fill them with wisdom, use patience and love
for they too, as you, were fooled by the bluff
fill them with wisdom, 'til all surrender
to this fact of the world, to the end of the error
we all failed to see, how ridiculous to be
cursing the other, or yourself, or your brother
raging in tears, with lightning, with thunder
at the injustice (that's real) yet all of us suffer
you're lucky or not
you're given your lot
but realise it fully
take your shot

Dear Friend

- isaac kendral (bio)

miss them
The one who held me high
I miss them
The one who kept me sane
I miss them
The one who shares my fate
I miss them
The one who brought me to life


I want them
To see them again
I want them
To talk face to face
I want them
To hold them tight
I want them
To feel like they're still real


I miss him
He knows who I am
He knows my scars
I know his
We share a past
We're brothers
Descendants of the Nords


I miss him
He shares my love
He knows my passion
I know his
We delve deep
Into a world our own
Minds aligned in beauty

I miss him
He shares my fate
He knows my pains
I know his
We are separate
But could just be of the same
Scorn, developing into beauty


I miss her
She gave me eyes
she knows her needs
I know mine
Break her chains
Give me freedom
Live for what you want


They
Who have been
And still are
They
Who were there
Who cared
They
Who saved me from myself
I love them

Mini Landscape 17

- anon

Mini Landscape 18

- anon

end of issue 24. go back to issues page.

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